uncalculated risks.
11:44 PM Friday, June 19, 2009
you better lose youself in the music
you better lose youself in the music
the moment you own it
you better never let it go, go
you only get one shot
do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
have you ever regretted not seizing an opportunity due to a slight moment of doubt(in other words, bola naik tekak)? if i get a dollar for everytime this happens to me, i'll be fucking richer than bill gates. There's always the fear of failure, or rejection than haunts my every move, causing me to act on the safer side instead of taking the road less taken which invites countless possibilities. This has been the way i handled situations since young, and i partly blamed my parents for causing me to be this way. they use to never let me handle any decisions my own way. instead of falling off a skateboard and learning from my mistakes and get better from there, they told me to just avoid the problems all the same. metaphorically speaking, of course. and up till now, after i realised to live my own life instead of what my father wants me to be, certain habits are implanted into the way i am, and this is one of them. im the sort of guy that keeps a pros and cons list on an imaginary yellow pad in my mind, and this has got to stop.
i gotta keep telling myself that we only live once, and moments moves and passes without waiting for anyone. it depends on the individual whether they want to seize it or just let it slip by, only to regret not taking the step. i'm not referring to big decisions, because bigger decisions leads to bigger consequences, bad or good. i'm talking about daily life decisions and if you don't plan and dare to do stuffs you never dared to before, your orange juice will taste sweeter and rice will taste better(metaphors of life itself). the next scene of your life will be different from before or what you hope it might be, and it's a reason to wake up in the morning just to see what your day will turn out to be, because you'll never know what will happen by taking uncalculated risks.
and i know that while you were reading this, all of you are asking the same question. so yes, it is about a girl. and now i'll never see her again because i didnt have the fucking balls to seal the deal. oh well, lesson learnt i guess. and at least my image of her will be untainted and perfect.
omfg last week before term break.
10:28 AM Tuesday, June 02, 2009
the thing that's been eating me alive for the whole of first term.
screw you guttenberg!
i am he, as you are he, as you are me and we are all together.
9:54 PM Wednesday, May 06, 2009
i'm sorry for everything.
7:57 AM Wednesday, April 29, 2009
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Though we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way.
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Though we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way.
liar liar pants on fire.
2:31 AM Monday, April 13, 2009
hi my name is liam.
and i am a compulsive liar.
well they say the first step to recovery is admitting the mistake right? i am a liar, and i do it all the time, almost every waking second. here's the sick part, i do it because i love it. people get hooked on booze or pills, i get hooked to words formed into sentences crafted to create an illusion for people to believe in. and im actually good at it. if we've had a conversation for more than 10 minutes, chances are they're probably a few stories i've told you that weren't true.
and it is the most unlikeliest of people that made me realise this compelling revelation. my dad. but then again they say your parents know you best ey? started out with the oasis concert. long story short, my dad found out i wasnt at work. and he confronted me abt it. without a thought, i blurb out another lie to cover up that lie. it was just my natural reaction. and i did it with so much gusto, so much theatrics with my eyes and hand movements, that if my dad had not known where i really went, he would've believed me. he was even shocked how the lies just keep spilling out of my mouth with such calm and composure.
so i reflected on why i resort to lying as a natural response for me. and i realised, i do it because i can. i like making people believe words that i've concocted just at the tip of my tongue, and people just hang on to my every word. its a real addiction, and like all addictions, its unhealthy. and i'm trying my best to change now. if i keep going one day this hellhole will suck me so deep, i'll need real help. well at least its not so bad. i realised my problem before it becomes permanent.
and the important thing is, i may have lied to people, but i will never lie to myself.
hi my name is liam.
and i am a compulsive liar.
well they say the first step to recovery is admitting the mistake right? i am a liar, and i do it all the time, almost every waking second. here's the sick part, i do it because i love it. people get hooked on booze or pills, i get hooked to words formed into sentences crafted to create an illusion for people to believe in. and im actually good at it. if we've had a conversation for more than 10 minutes, chances are they're probably a few stories i've told you that weren't true.
and it is the most unlikeliest of people that made me realise this compelling revelation. my dad. but then again they say your parents know you best ey? started out with the oasis concert. long story short, my dad found out i wasnt at work. and he confronted me abt it. without a thought, i blurb out another lie to cover up that lie. it was just my natural reaction. and i did it with so much gusto, so much theatrics with my eyes and hand movements, that if my dad had not known where i really went, he would've believed me. he was even shocked how the lies just keep spilling out of my mouth with such calm and composure.
so i reflected on why i resort to lying as a natural response for me. and i realised, i do it because i can. i like making people believe words that i've concocted just at the tip of my tongue, and people just hang on to my every word. its a real addiction, and like all addictions, its unhealthy. and i'm trying my best to change now. if i keep going one day this hellhole will suck me so deep, i'll need real help. well at least its not so bad. i realised my problem before it becomes permanent.
and the important thing is, i may have lied to people, but i will never lie to myself.
i am the walrus!
10:44 PM Wednesday, April 08, 2009
i need to be myself, i can't be no one else, i'm feeling supersonic!
9:13 PM
i should blog about this soon before the effects wear off. okay that was a joke. the sequence of events that happened on 5th april was still etched deep in my mind. frankly, it could've been one of the greatest day of my life.
took a cab because we we're freaking lazy to subject our feet to long distance walking.
well, it didnt start out too great. i found out the free tickets that i won were pen B. which means i cant go in with my friends and i'll be alienated with all the pen B idiots( no offence, i was angry at that time). so yea me and tity took the pen B tickets, and i gave the ticket i bought, that cost $101 to yiky. heart breaking.
i guess somehow even god realised that oasis was that important to me, and when we were abt to enter, there was this 2 girls who got pen A tickets but were queueing up at the pen B line. so we asked whether they wanted to exhange tickets and we did. Blimey! we ran all the way to the pen A line like a pair of retards. hahahaha.
strangely, oasis was not as late as i expected them to be. it was only what, an hr late? but OMG, when they first stepped on stage, i felt as though my soul has left my body and went to rock n roll heaven.
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dicks and cunts, presenting liam gallagher.
oasis! oasis! oasis!
noel gallagher with his out-of-bed hair. or maybe he is just out of bed. and he looks old but still as awesome.
aftermath of being rocked out of your world, or your soul digged out \m/
i should blog about this soon before the effects wear off. okay that was a joke. the sequence of events that happened on 5th april was still etched deep in my mind. frankly, it could've been one of the greatest day of my life.
took a cab because we we're freaking lazy to subject our feet to long distance walking.well, it didnt start out too great. i found out the free tickets that i won were pen B. which means i cant go in with my friends and i'll be alienated with all the pen B idiots( no offence, i was angry at that time). so yea me and tity took the pen B tickets, and i gave the ticket i bought, that cost $101 to yiky. heart breaking.
i guess somehow even god realised that oasis was that important to me, and when we were abt to enter, there was this 2 girls who got pen A tickets but were queueing up at the pen B line. so we asked whether they wanted to exhange tickets and we did. Blimey! we ran all the way to the pen A line like a pair of retards. hahahaha.
strangely, oasis was not as late as i expected them to be. it was only what, an hr late? but OMG, when they first stepped on stage, i felt as though my soul has left my body and went to rock n roll heaven.
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dicks and cunts, presenting liam gallagher.
oasis! oasis! oasis!
noel gallagher with his out-of-bed hair. or maybe he is just out of bed. and he looks old but still as awesome.
aftermath of being rocked out of your world, or your soul digged out \m/i can die peacefully now. heh. okay kidding. i rmbed making a list(in my head) of things i want to do before i reach 30. other than gg to amsterdam and england, seeing oasis live was definitely one of the top few. seems like thats one item crossed out(again, in my head) from the list.
2 more weeks, my foot is in the door.
9:32 AM Tuesday, April 07, 2009
i was gonna blog about oasis but nah, maybe some other time when i'm at work. where the internet is not as crappy as this fucked up shitball called MiO.
on a side note,
<3
email/friendster/msn/myspace:
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