straightjacket feeling

uncalculated risks.

2009-06-19T23:44:00.000-07:00

you better lose youself in the music

the moment you own it

you better never let it go, go

you only get one shot

do not miss your chance to blow

this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

have you ever regretted not seizing an opportunity due to a slight moment of doubt(in other words, bola naik tekak)? if i get a dollar for everytime this happens to me, i'll be fucking richer than bill gates. There's always the fear of failure, or rejection than haunts my every move, causing me to act on the safer side instead of taking the road less taken which invites countless possibilities. This has been the way i handled situations since young, and i partly blamed my parents for causing me to be this way. they use to never let me handle any decisions my own way. instead of falling off a skateboard and learning from my mistakes and get better from there, they told me to just avoid the problems all the same. metaphorically speaking, of course. and up till now, after i realised to live my own life instead of what my father wants me to be, certain habits are implanted into the way i am, and this is one of them. im the sort of guy that keeps a pros and cons list on an imaginary yellow pad in my mind, and this has got to stop.

i gotta keep telling myself that we only live once, and moments moves and passes without waiting for anyone. it depends on the individual whether they want to seize it or just let it slip by, only to regret not taking the step. i'm not referring to big decisions, because bigger decisions leads to bigger consequences, bad or good. i'm talking about daily life decisions and if you don't plan and dare to do stuffs you never dared to before, your orange juice will taste sweeter and rice will taste better(metaphors of life itself). the next scene of your life will be different from before or what you hope it might be, and it's a reason to wake up in the morning just to see what your day will turn out to be, because you'll never know what will happen by taking uncalculated risks.

and i know that while you were reading this, all of you are asking the same question. so yes, it is about a girl. and now i'll never see her again because i didnt have the fucking balls to seal the deal. oh well, lesson learnt i guess. and at least my image of her will be untainted and perfect.

omfg last week before term break.

2009-06-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

the thing that's been eating me alive for the whole of first term.

screw you guttenberg!

i am he, as you are he, as you are me and we are all together.

2009-05-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry for everything.

2009-04-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Though we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way.

liar liar pants on fire.

2009-04-13T02:31:00.000-07:00

hi my name is liam.
and i am a compulsive liar.

well they say the first step to recovery is admitting the mistake right? i am a liar, and i do it all the time, almost every waking second. here's the sick part, i do it because i love it. people get hooked on booze or pills, i get hooked to words formed into sentences crafted to create an illusion for people to believe in. and im actually good at it. if we've had a conversation for more than 10 minutes, chances are they're probably a few stories i've told you that weren't true.

and it is the most unlikeliest of people that made me realise this compelling revelation. my dad. but then again they say your parents know you best ey? started out with the oasis concert. long story short, my dad found out i wasnt at work. and he confronted me abt it. without a thought, i blurb out another lie to cover up that lie. it was just my natural reaction. and i did it with so much gusto, so much theatrics with my eyes and hand movements, that if my dad had not known where i really went, he would've believed me. he was even shocked how the lies just keep spilling out of my mouth with such calm and composure.

so i reflected on why i resort to lying as a natural response for me. and i realised, i do it because i can. i like making people believe words that i've concocted just at the tip of my tongue, and people just hang on to my every word. its a real addiction, and like all addictions, its unhealthy. and i'm trying my best to change now. if i keep going one day this hellhole will suck me so deep, i'll need real help. well at least its not so bad. i realised my problem before it becomes permanent.

and the important thing is, i may have lied to people, but i will never lie to myself.

i am the walrus!

2009-04-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

i need to be myself, i can't be no one else, i'm feeling supersonic!

2009-04-08T21:13:00.001-07:00

i should blog about this soon before the effects wear off. okay that was a joke. the sequence of events that happened on 5th april was still etched deep in my mind. frankly, it could've been one of the greatest day of my life.

took a cab because we we're freaking lazy to subject our feet to long distance walking.

well, it didnt start out too great. i found out the free tickets that i won were pen B. which means i cant go in with my friends and i'll be alienated with all the pen B idiots( no offence, i was angry at that time). so yea me and tity took the pen B tickets, and i gave the ticket i bought, that cost $101 to yiky. heart breaking.

i guess somehow even god realised that oasis was that important to me, and when we were abt to enter, there was this 2 girls who got pen A tickets but were queueing up at the pen B line. so we asked whether they wanted to exhange tickets and we did. Blimey! we ran all the way to the pen A line like a pair of retards. hahahaha.

strangely, oasis was not as late as i expected them to be. it was only what, an hr late? but OMG, when they first stepped on stage, i felt as though my soul has left my body and went to rock n roll heaven.

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dicks and cunts, presenting liam gallagher.

oasis! oasis! oasis!

noel gallagher with his out-of-bed hair. or maybe he is just out of bed. and he looks old but still as awesome.

aftermath of being rocked out of your world, or your soul digged out \m/

i can die peacefully now. heh. okay kidding. i rmbed making a list(in my head) of things i want to do before i reach 30. other than gg to amsterdam and england, seeing oasis live was definitely one of the top few. seems like thats one item crossed out(again, in my head) from the list.

2 more weeks, my foot is in the door.

2009-04-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

i was gonna blog about oasis but nah, maybe some other time when i'm at work. where the internet is not as crappy as this fucked up shitball called MiO.

on a side note,

stand by me.

2009-03-31T18:57:00.001-07:00

a while ago, i got to know of an Oasis contest from power98. five winners will get a pair of tickets to see Oasis live. So i entered, and this is what i sent.

I am DEFINITELY the number 1 choice to win this tickets! Dude, even my nickname on MSN is Liam Gallagher. need i say more?

The other day my friend was like asking me to go see Fall Out Boy. And i told him, i would only go to see a concert if either Oasis or Arctic Monkeys is performing. This was one month ago and lo and behold, MY WISH CAME TRUE! I swear, i was hyperventilating when i got to know they were coming.

The thing is, im already gonna get my tickets. i cant risk just putting my hopes on this contest, what if i didn't win and the tickets were sold out? I would probably kill myself. No, i would gorge out my eyes till i bleed from my ear, and then kill myself.

BUT, im still applying for this because if i win it, i would probably sell my ticket to my friend at a lower price, or probably just give it away if I'm in a good mood. Seriously, I want ALOT of people to be there, so that the support might show Oasis that they have a large fan base here, and maybe they'll come around more often! And man, Oasis music should be shared among people. Hopefully my "goodwill" can help me ace through for this. I'm begging you!

So please, PLEASE pick me, i'm definitely the most deserving. I LOVE POWER98! and i'll love you even more if you pick me<3

~i'm all over my heart's desire~

I FREAKING WON. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. and i didn't even put much hope on it. well i'm giving one to yiky. if u guys didnt know, he was the one who gave me the free ticket to fall out boy. rock and roll returns to its roackafellas, so yea i called him. and i could feel surges of psychness trembling through his body( okay i was only on the phone, but still).

and the other ticket, well, i guess you'll just have to find out yourself :p

age-sensitive

2009-03-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

i swear, whenever i meet somebody new there always say i look older, and when i prompt them about a specific age it always happens to be 24. not 20(which is my real age), or 23, or 25. ALWAYS 24. and now it seems even facebook thinks so :/

don't look back in anger.

2009-03-15T20:40:00.001-07:00

okay fine i did not take this picture, i took it from saf's blog. but i got my freaking omfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfg ticket!

find me if you want to rocknrolla wit me ;)

the story of how bad luck follows you around.

2009-03-05T19:10:00.000-08:00

i've been hit by a stretch of bad luck lately, but i think its over. okay my whole life is full of bad lucks anyways, its just been worse these few days.

started with the last day of sch, classmates decided to go out. one by one they left, till it was only me, aidie and li ping. We sat at taka, and somehow i must've took my phone out and left it there. i was already in the train when i realised. you know, the worst part abt losing ur phone is that ur totally uncontactable. technology has made sure that u never have to memorise anyones phone number, and thats what happened to me. i couldnt call anyone. and no one could call me. so i had no choice, but to just go home.

funny story, the thing is when i called my handphone when i reached home, aidie picked up. talk about relieve! he said that someone had found my phone, and had called aidie because he was the last called no. Oh well, it was too good to be true anyway, i found out that the guy had called my home first, thus resulting in my dad finding out. still, whoever that kind soul was, you fucking rock. hard to find guys out there like you, dude.

that wasnt nearly as bad as what is happening next. i dropped my phone at work and it broke beyond repair. i mean out of all the time i dropped my phone, this had to be the time. my dad was pissed that he cant ruffle me up whenever i got home late (pffft), so he loaned me my mom's old phone, i think the model is Samsung CRAP.

Oh yea, this story has many parts. So this other day i went to bugis after work, and i was sitting down having a cancer stick outside BHG, and again, i must've left my phone there. i was still ard bugis, so i literally ran back to the place and fuck, it wasnt there. i just sat there and reflected on my stupidity and carelessness when a couple approached me and asked whether i lost my phone. i said yes, and they said they found it. lol! there are nice people in the world after all! i thanked him so much i would almost kiss him, but he was with his girlfriend. okay wtf, haha.

still, all good things must come to an end, at least for me. okay sidetrack, i thing photographers and videographers like the fact that they have helpers, so they just move ard quickly just to enjoy the fact that we have to accomodate to him. nahbeh. so back to the story, the cameraman was supposed to take pictures of people enjoying themselves at ECP, so he was moving randomly, taking random pictures, while i have to lug ard the fucking camera bag which weighs a freaking ton, following him wherever he goes. in all the commotion, i must've left my phone, agaiiiin. you know what they say, strike 3, you're out. guess i knew i wasnt gg to be lucky for the third time.

told my dad, he practically gave me the i-give-up look. my mom droned on and on abt how i can never take care of my things. luckily, taufiq has a spare phone for me, and now im using this phone. dun know how long it will last though, maybe i'll lose it today -.-

because im cool.

2009-02-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

i guess going to a fall out boy concert is worth blogging about.

the day before, aidie was calling me to see whether i wanted to buy a ticket from him, since his sister's friend backed out last minute. i was considering, but i realised i cant, financially. and then 4 hrs before the concert
.
.
.
.
yikai rang and said his friend backed out as well. and since the ticket was gg to waste anyway, yours truly was bestowed the honour of attending the holy ceremony. fuck yea!

(pictures are from aidie's blog)

$101.00 man. given to me like that. there is a god up there somewhere, and he loves me.

one thing we noticed was that the crowd was mostly made up of younglings. and they were irritating. running around like some after school special. aidie was saying on how they should make this types of concert for 18 and above only. and i guess it makes sense.

yea. tts my free entry expression.

i should probably mention, this is actually my first gig involving a foreign band i actually know. the anticipation was mind-blowing.

shy la, hide my face.

we waited aeons, but i guess thats expected for a band of this magnitude. the crowd wasnt as much as i had anticipated. i daresay, baybeats was even bigger? anyway Hey Monday opened at 8 and they're oh-my-god-take-that-pencil-and-stuff-it-up-my-nose-till-it-pierce-my-brains awful. seriously. Hey Monday is the reason why people HATE mondays. hmm maybe thats how they came up with the band name. they piss me off so much, im not even going to blog photo's of them. i'm gonna pretend i never hear their music before, so my eyes won't bleed.

and then there they were.

i only didnt know the songs from the latest albums. other than that i was screaming my lungs out. got dripping wet after, and i wasnt even sure who's sweat it was on my shirt. it sure as hell doesnt smell like mine.

i seriously urge you guys to go youtube and find their videos. freaking legendary.

thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so good.

the VOLTA

2009-01-26T08:46:00.001-08:00

refer to ameerul's or khai's blog.
cause im just that lazy to type.

teh peng laaaa.

2009-01-19T07:45:00.000-08:00

i swear, the craziest group member ever.
she actually makes me wanna do school work, and nobody ever does.
(:

letdown.

2009-01-01T10:08:00.003-08:00

i have never felt so guilty my entire life.

my one and only new year resolution:

be a better son.
respect your parents wishes, no matter how unreasonable they can be.

sigh. im such a letdown.

great things dont last.

2008-12-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

you were only 17 when i met you
underneath the stars outside in summers heat
it was a party for some friends both of us knew
but that night was the start of me falling for you

now this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby i'm yours now, yours now

i remember locking eyes across the room
and thinking to myself i had to talk to you
by the end of the night i felt like i'd always known you
like we were friends for years even though things were new
now this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby i'm yours now, yours now

this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby i'm yours now,
yours alone [3x]
my love
yours alone, alone
im yours alone
my love

this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby im yours now

this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby im yours now, yours now

this is love like never before
without you i can't breathe anymore
you're everything that i adore
baby im yours now,
yours alone [2x]
im yours alone (alone alone alone)
im yours alone
yours alone [2x] (alone alone alone)

shah united football club!

2008-09-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

woke up late for the 7-a-side tournament. haha. told the others not to be late and there i was, an hr late. trust me, im rarely this late. i get this late only like, once every 3 mths. except sch of cos, which im always late.

found out that i forgot to choose a team name, so they keep calling us shah. haha! hence the blog title. was freaking angry in the morning cos i found out not all the team members are informed, so in the end our keeper didnt show up. and i ended up being the keeper -.- i can be keeper for street, but for field i really suck.

first match, won 3-2. could have been 3-0, if we had had a real keeper. they had 2 shots, and 2 goals. showed how crappy i was. 2nd match, i was keeper for the first half. after being up 2 goals, i switched with kah hui. and i scored lah sey. haha! people who played with me knows i have a barren scoring streak. so its like shocking that i did. it was a superb pass by adli nonetheless.

but our matches wasnt the highlight of the day. there was this indian team vs a malay team. this malay guy was actually wasting time by shielding the ball at the edge of the line, so this indian guy just slide his leg from behind. the malay guy got furious(batal puase!) and confronted him. soon the players from both teams, and even some who were not involved, joined in. and it turned into a full fledged fight! hahahahahahaha. and it happened right in front of us. aidie even had time to whip out his phone and take pictures.

look at kah hui trying to get some action!

fyi aidie did not zoom this pic. yea, we're that close. and we just sat there enjoying the show. haha. join for what, batal puase jer. even the referees could not do anything. and the worst thing is, they werent diaqualified. wtf? try that in premiere league, or even s-league, see what happens. it just doesnt seem fair.

during quarter finals we played against EEE. i think the formation they played was 5-1-1. 5 players at the back, a playmaker, and a striker, dribbling from deep. its actually easy for us to win, but with no proper keeper its just lame. cos every shot they get could be a goal already. so yea we lost 3-1. but im actually quite proud of my team. from the group stages, only 2 teams manage to get full 6 points, and we're one of them. and almost all of our team are fasting. so yea.

went home straight after since gg seesha tt night. was damn shagged i tell you. lips were practically white, and throat was freaking dry. but i managed to survived. break fast at far east with ameerul and stella, and the guys on bikes joined us. they went geylang, after, and we walked to arab street to meet matiin harry and siva for seesha. again. twice in 2 weeks. hah.

too lazy to think of captions hahahaha.

tts all for now. malas nak blog this few days. too busy working. tata!

smoke me up.

2008-09-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

delayed post on sat. met matiin siva and harry to jam because someone buey again :p
jamming was so-so. didnt learn the songs they played. and not really interested in punk tt much nowadays. went for seesha after :) been a while.

muke maintain please.

angry cause the seesha's out of charcoal.

still angry, flavour not kicking in yet.

okay now thaaaaats better.

crazy people.

been working like crazy nowadays. gonna tuck in now. bye bitches!

baybeats!

2008-08-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

okay, i think i finally have time to do a proper update. and as you know, baybeats! and it was better than last year.

friday

i had to work on the first day. fuck i didnt want to, because art friend closes at 7.30 on weekdays, and baybeats starts at 7.30 -.- but what the hell, i needed the money. okay and the funny part was, i was expecting to mosh on friday, so i didnt wore my vans. i wore this freaking torn puma shoes i found at home, probably my dads( no wonder its torn!). it wasnt that bad at first, but halfway working the sole was practically falling apart. come on! its baybeats, and i had torn shoes. so during my lunch break i went to fu lo shou complex to buy a new set, since i know they sell em cheap there. was planning to get jazz shoes, probably ard 20 bucks, when i saw this whole rack of smart shoes gg for 10 bucks. 1o bucks! and the shoes are not that bad looking as well. so i chosed, and gt back to work. no one even noticed i was gone for almost an hr. haha. art friend suck balls.

the main event for friday was force vomit, and i could tell they would be awesome before we saw them. their songs are really original. and the mosh pit was insane. i was moshing alone on friday, cause no one else wanted to, but it rocked! there was this girl, who was moshing, and actually held my hand because she was falling. so i helped her up, and she was still holding my hand. damn awkward. i stared at her, and she stared back. but then it got crazy so i went back to moshing. oh well.

and this is what happened to my newly bought, smart $10-a-pair shoes. hahaha. the pictures not clear, but its basically covered full in mud. and even stained my pants. it was worth it though :)

saturday
worked, again. wasnt planning to mosh, so i wore my tight pants with vans. at least i finished at 6. met matiin first, den harry and the 2 khai's, and then came ameerul, zul, saleha and her cousin who looks kinda cute. abih semue pon nak aim. haha. but yea, wasted no time and headed to powerhouse.

the first band we catched was called the shine and shine and shine. it was om-erbgrstnrstdfgrtwhsdre-g awful. they're from taiwan(i tink?) and they're vocal SUCKS. big time. the female vocalist was screeching like a small girl and at certain points, she actually made wad seems to be sex noises. its okay if shes hot, but shes NOT. and the back up singer, i swear, even matiin can sing better(haha sorry matiin!).

and then theres this other band, cardinal avenue, who rocked. their music was seriously good. the vocals was superb. its exactly the kind of band i wanna be like. haha maybe someday, i think. the next band was fastpitch, from phillipines. and it was goddamn hardcore. the band, the music, the moshing everything. fuck man at that moment, i didnt even care abt my shoe. i just went in the mosh. AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AFTER JUST 5 SECS IN THE MOSHPIT?

(warning, slight unwanted nudity)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

hardcore much?!?!! everyone was practicall laughing at me the whole time, thanks eh guys. okay to be honest, it wasnt that bad at first. but then aku punyer degil kepale, i went back inside the moshpit, until the tear was beyond repair. mampos. damn stressed. didnt know how to go back home. lucky khai had trg tt day, so he had soccer shorts. and i wore that. with my vans. and it was bright blue. takleh lagi malu per? everywhere i go, people were like looking at the shorts. lol!

so the next band was like the main event, electrico. they're great, as usual. music you could dance to. but this is when the moshpit(more like dancefloor?) gets super interesting. there was ALOT more girls joining in. hehe. but there was this particular chinese girl whom i just cant get out of my head man. she had piercings on her face, but she looks, different. not just a normal typical girl with piercing. and she was basically dancing with me. she was beside me all the time. but then after finish teros hilang-.- oh well, too bad. hahaha.

after 2 days of baybeats, this is what happened to 2 of my shoes, even after i cleaned most of the dirt off:

i swear, i need a new camera pronto. and i think all the cleaning of the shoes, the torn pants, the sweaty shirts, the scolding from parents was all worth it. 365 more days to the next baybeats haha. sucks for you guys who missed it!

today

i had the worse day at work. okay maybe not worst, but enough to be a contender. it was all fine in the morning, then there was this customer, who was complaining that the price of the clay that i scanned wasnt the price that was stated at the display. so basically she keep saying things like, wah where can lidat? i cant trust you guys ready ah lidat. fucking whore. i know shes trying to imply i might be overpricing her and pocketing the money. whatever~ i was so worked up, things got worse from then. i scanned an item twice, so i had to refund cash. den there was this item i thought i didnt charge her for, and realised that i already did. she then complained to the info counter saying things like im so careless handling peoples money, stuff like that. and heres the funny part: she said she was here last week, paid at my counter, bought a glass product, and said i didnt wrap it. stop making stuff up u bitch! firstly, i would always wrap glass product. and if i didnt, the customer could just ask me to, i wud gladly help them wrap. and if it was such a problem, why didnt complain it back then? fucking old hag. i hope ur husband leaves you because ur so ugly and incompetent in bed and u'll be homeless and live in a drain until ur brains eventually evaporate, which wouldnt be that long since its already the size of half a pea. 2 years ive been working at that hell hole, never have i ever received a complaint. and ur giving me this crap now. screw you, slut.

and to top it of, my cash register was short of 20 bucks at the end of the day. just great.

anyway, fasting starts 2mr. to all of you who are fasting, selamat berpuasa. and to those muslims who don't, and dare to eat in public, u guys should know u are the scumbags of society.

cheerios.

oveeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

2008-08-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

gosh, what a hectic ball-breaking week.

most of you who know me will know my course is seriously very free, because i keep all my assignments till the last week of the semester. and that last week happened to be these past few weeks. heres some of the things i can remember doing:
-culinary design- model making, mock up, powerpoint slides, cmf boards, presentation boards
-communication device model using cnc machining
-30 pictures to be printed and glue bind
-packaging design
-portfolio
and many other small assignments i cant remember. its hell i tell you. been catching like, only 2 hrs of sleep each night last week, trying to complete assignments. and i spent close to 50 bucks. u must know, its rare of me to spend so much time or money on a project. but i gotta step it up abit so i dun lose out to my fellow classmates.

the final presentation was abit sucky. to be honest, i wasnt 100% happy with the product, so its kind of hard for me to sell something that i dun believe in.

to my group members,
im sorry if i've ever been lazy or did not meet ur expectations in my standard of working. i think u guys are well aware of my work rate when u chose me as a group member, and yet you still trusted in me, and i thank you for that. i know we talked abt each other behind each others back alot, but i think its kinda common when the stress level is reaching maximum level. at least we got everything done right? and now its oveeeeeeeer. and holidays are here so please plan and outing soon kay?

to the people i've buey-ed in the past week,
im sorry, but i buey-ed some of you without actually telling my reasons are. im really busy with sch.but its over now k? and ask me out quick, because i'll probably be working next week onwards. oh yah, this weekends baybeats! jom pegi same2!

yes, im going to work, so much for holidays. probably gonna find at some factory, cause i really need the money pronto. gonna work with kok, whos highly motivated to get enough cash for bangkok. haha. me? i just need money for an external hard disk, buy siva's guitar, a camcorder, and most most most importantly, pay for my car practical expenses. why cant i be born rich instead?

and this week is the much awaited baybeats. force vomit! its like the perfect way to end the sch term. its gonna be awesome! if your gg, tell me, we could go together yea?

don't give up, oh siti don't give up!

theres actually alot more i want to say but i cant rmb. when i do i'll blog k?

let her go, learn a lesson.

2008-08-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

"aniwe im still with the same bf leeer."

thanks.

i love it when she calls, but she never calls at all

2008-08-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

honestly?
im tired, bored and lazy of this.
you obviously dun care, so why should i?

patience wearing thin.

if it takes away the pain, its alright

2008-08-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

its only been a week or so? and im already lazy to blog. i believe none of you out there is surprised. i think one of the main reasons is my sucky ballsy internet connection + irritating freaking laptop. its always so hard to get a good connection. and my com's random auto shut down is not helping either.

and i also realised, when i blog, or write, or anything involving words, im kind of a perfectionist. i want everything to sound right. i just love the art of communicating. i should be in mass com. heh. too bad my love for the language came after o lvls :/

anyway, my blog will be picture-free for a while. once again, because of my internet connection. pictures will come after i reformat my laptop, which will be ard this week or the next. i wanted to blog abt the fireworks i went to last sat, but yea, tts gotta wait.

anyway, my parents are going overseas this weekend maybe. one of the few rare chances where i actually get to spent the night outside. without them knowing of course. so yea, gotta take advantage of the situation. ahah.

will try to blog more in the future. tata~

ignite!

2008-07-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

went to ignite! on saturday with khai, zul and ameerul. im telling you, its a gig worthy of baybeats. so anyway, reached ard 7 at rp. that schs atmosphere is really great. compared to the run downs of sp, it felt like a breath of fresh air, and students there actually get to experience that everyday. haha.

so anyway, plainsunset opened the gig. i just realised their bassist is also the guitarist from fishtank. must be one hell of a talented guy. didnt really liked caracal that much though. well firstly, the vocalist sucks. even the bassist had better vocal chords. and their music is just too, emotional. haha. just isnt my type. and electrico, electrico is the SEX. i swear, their music's freaking awesome. and not forgetting they have a hot keyboardist.

Despite the many people i still manage to see saf at the gig. haha. so after the gig, ard 11 plus, we decided to go home together. mcm biase, kalau tak amek gambar tak sah.

had fun. looking forward to baybeats now. anyway. lets do some maths. plainsunset + caracal + electrico + awesome crowd + moshpit + grass =

mampos. sampai malu sia nak naik train. we even dipped our shoes in the rp pond to try and clear abit of the mud of. haha. and the thing is, i havent washed it yet! till now -.-

haha lol pffft k bye.

2008-07-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

presentation in school today was dfbvlijnfeiuhs febesbgrtw fv. can u imagine, they asked us to do 20 pages of ideation each, and we only had to present 3. wasted effort, don't you think? my previous project only had 3 pages ideation, and i got a B for that. ideation is just not my forte. im much more interested in the research and brainstorming part.

had gems at 1. finally completed my assignment. for those of you who doesnt know, my gems is 'designing cartoon animations'. and its freaking similar to what my course is! lucky~ so yea this assignment was to scan a character that you draw and edit using photoshop. this is what i handed up:
yea i know, i know, design students and photoshop experts will say it sucks, i can do better, bla bla. newsflash: i couldnt care less about sch work. the moment i go into gems, i'll sign in to ebuddy. so please pardon the lack of creativity.

after school went to the much anticipated gig featuring Fishtank, at powerhouse. trust me, this is the band to see. u have to experience the band to believe me. wanted to catch west grand boulevard as well, but it was too late, so me and matiin went home.

gonna hit the rp gig 2mr. found out taufiq is also gg. nice. i have a feeling its going to be awesome. blog more 2mr.

cya.

btw, if want me to link your blog, just leave a tag :)

moment of truth

2008-07-25T18:54:00.000-07:00

this picture was taken a while back. i just decided to post it now because aLOT of people have been commenting about it, saying i look different. like wth? haha. i think i look normal in it.

looks like i'll be late again today-.-

why so serious?

2008-07-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

decided to blog again. might be temporary, but what the hell, just gonna give it a try. i changed the skin, this new one is even more complicated than i thought. haven't completely changed the layout yet. gotta wait till i'm not feeling as lazy as precious was for singapore.

not much going on in my life so far. assignments piling up, and i dun have the mood to even lift a finger. i swear, i didn't thought it was possible, but I've just gotten lazier this semester. 2mr's the deadline for 20 ideation drawing, and i've only completed 5. you don't have to tell me im screwed.

something to look forward to:
- Fishtank & West Grand Boulevard performing @ theatres by the bay, tommorow, 7.30pm.
- Plainsunset, Caracal, etc, performing @ RP, Saturday, 7pm.

back to back gigs, how cool is that. i miss jamming, but peoples been so busy these days. anyway thats all for now. gotta go sleep. been coming to class late these few days.

ps: do leave a tag and comment on the new skin aite? love ya.

ciao.

we'll never feel that anymoreee

2008-04-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

i just realised i have very unsupportive friends. i mean, if one of my friends is having a gig, i would totally go and support without him/her asking. its not because i enjoy it. be it a dance, an ochestra or whatever, i'll still go to support my friends.

when i talked abt my gig on my blog and personal message, not even 1 (there might be a few, i dun rmb) asked abt going. i have to personally invite, and then people get interested. dun get me wrong, i dun mind inviting people to come, it just shows how much support i have. even the closer friends i haf, didnt even think of gg, giving reasons like busy and no money. i dun mind if you reaaaally cant make it, but i think most of you are just making excuses.

still thats not so bad. worse is when some people say they will come, and when i ask again a few days before the gig, they say they cant. its like, cant you people just send a message or give a call and tell me you cant make it? at least saf and khai have the courtesy to tell me, the rest of you conveniently forget. its not so simple. i have a quota of how many tickets to sell. and i haf to give the money a few days before the gig, thus using my own money. and when some of you cancel last minute, its really fucked up.

for those of you coming, thanks a lot, really. you guys are the kind of friends i should hang out more with. some of you are not even interested in my kind of music, but u guys still wanna support. so yea, thanks.

i think i wanna quit performing after this gig. theres too many problems. money spent on jamming, selling tickets, song choice and stuff. yea i might perform, maybe in sch or sth, where it doesnt involve selling tickets. its just too much trouble. like for example, im leaving for a camp 2mr, and during that i haf to leave for the gig. damn.

tts all, bye losers.

friends who make you forget everything else

2008-03-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

i tink from now on i should only blog when theres an event. you know, so that one day when im bored i might actually read back all my archives to see what ive done. so anywae, went to sentosa, again, with dxdip cliques, again, and guess what, it nvr gets boring. especially with them. so met up at 9 am in the morning, and i wasnt LATE. for the first time in the history of gg out with them. astonishing, i know. rained at first, but stopped after a while, so we made our way there. thank god for the rain, it made the day a bit cooler.

WARNING: IMAGE-HEAVY ENTRY. IF YOU WANNA SAVE URSELF, DEAR GOD PLEASE, CLOSE THIS WINDOW NOW!

so we started of playing volleyball, which i tink all of us sucked in. which makes it even more fun, because theres more laughing than actually playing. after, only me and syafiq wanted to swim at first, so we jumped in. btw, i m gg to save a bit of dignity for myself by uploading only photos that i tink are all right, cause i had alot of shots which makes me look retarded. i doubt dun tink my friends are gonna do the same=/

mr nak step model tapi tak jadi.

cindiee didnt wanted to swim, so she wanted to rent the water bike or whatever u called it. in the end we rented the canoe. damn fun i tell you. and by the end of it, everyone was wet. haha.

kinda expensive i tink, 13 bucks for half an hr. but i tink we all had fun on it. heeee

these 2 girls are super crazy, but i still love them both :)))

everyone was saying how this was the favourite shot of the day. and cam biase, semue nak tak credit. aku jugak photographer, aku yg splash water. what i tink is, when u look at the pic, u only see the models, so thats the most important!

and as usual, if you go sentosa, there must be at least a shot with the siloso sculpture. the girl who took the photo for us was hawwwwt man.

oh yea me and my flabby arms. yea baby, yea.

the cliques nvr disappoint me. what a fun day!

dance your way to the dance floor

2008-03-07T03:40:00.000-08:00

yeap. another gig. at beat merchants. this one's much cheaper, tickets going for 4 bucks. im not really enthu abt it though. i didnt wanna perform, but the rest of my band wanted to so yea. its probably gonna be an indie infestation-.- if you're interested just pm me for tix.
oh yea, btw, our band name have changed. we decided that i slept with a princess was too long, and its not really fitting for the music that we play. our new band name is The Frauds. i dun tink we're gonna change it anymore, since we already made myspace and everything.
and another thing. check out our new single at,
www.myspace.com/thefraudsonline
please please please pardon my voice. when we recorded it the guitars were blasting too loud, and i couldnt hear my own voice, thus not being able to control it. i promise better quality when we go for multi track recording. for now just bear with it.

later alligator.

2008-03-01T06:18:00.000-08:00

and btw, fushan won 5-3 against ex-evgians today. im supposed to be happy, but im not. okay im happy with my team's performance, but i sucked. bad. getting worse after every match. why am i not improving? i can honestly say i was one of the worse who played just now, if not the worse. okay maybe i am the worse. the weakest link. but still, u cant buy friendship like this:

who said the john travolta hairstyle is dead?

eh wait, i tink its more like johny bravo.

after being home for so freaking long, today was fun:)

low self-esteem

2008-03-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

this is my family.

i have a responsible dad who has a comfortable job. there has never been no food on the table. he is however, somewhat a control freak, because he cares too much for his kids. he wants to know everything they're doing, where they're doing, and he prefers us to be at home than to be outside.

my mom is a housewife who can basically do everything in this house on her own. on top of that, she has a full-time job at a factory so that she can help support the family. she cooks regularly, so we do not have to eat out all the time, thus saving money. theres always food prepared if we were home.

i have an elder brother who is the smartest guy in the family. never gets into any major problem before. i mean never. currently studying at a university, he's bound to be a successful man when he grows up. has a steady girlfriend, and she's also his first girlfriend he ever had, at 24. this isn't a wishwash relationship, it might be the real deal.

my younger brother is the apple of my parents eyes. had asthma since young, been under special care from parents since. he's the kid that everybody loves. the life among our family when we meet our relatives. quite smart, recently got a very decent average in o lvls. also, never gets into major troubles.

to some people, my family could be the perfect household. parents who loves us, perfect siblings who don't lead us the wrong path, etc.

so why am i so miserable?

sometimes i cant answer that question. firstly, let me introduce myself.

i am the middle child of the family. started getting into small trouble when i was just 8. firstly it was just calls from teachers regarding problems in schwork. by 10, i had my first caning. in sch i mean. i used to get caned by my parents throughout my primary sch years. at 11, i started hanging outside of sch, getting caught a million times by my mothers friend, who in turn tells my parents. caning again. at 12, during the crucial psle, at the right timing, my grades starts to worsen. resulting in an average much lowered when compared to my elder brother.

this is where it got worse. joining ncc, i started coming home late. first time i ever went out by myself after 7. it felt great, and i wanted more. started finding excuses and lying so that i can go out more often at night. at 14, i had my first cigarette. did i mentioned none of my siblings smoke? and lets not even touch my secondary sch grades. got caught smoking at 16, parents were furious. o lvl grades were mediocre, so i went to a poly.

in poly, i nvr come home before 7. i would always find friends and a reason to hang outside, all the while telling my parents im at school. they know i'm lying, but what can they do, i use to say. i got a few part time jobs, nvr sticking to one. after working different kinds of part time jobs for 4 years, currently theres only 40+ bucks in my bankbook. i spent like hell. money is nvr safe in my hands.

and here i am now. grounded because i lied abt gg to work, while actually i had a gig. yes my dad knew i have been lying to him all the while, i guess this time he just had enough.

how did i turn out like this?

smells like teen spirit

2008-02-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

come on shah FOCUS.

3 days left to the gig.

whatever feelings that you have right now, keep them off until after the gig.

itsallaboutthemusicitsallaboutthemusicitsallaboutthemusic.

somehow the song "getcha head in the game (HSM)" is playing in my head.

ok i just need to get this one thing of my chest.

that post better not be abt me, because if u tink im having the time of my life, think again.

the confidence is the balaclava

2008-02-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

i know right, probably the worst poster ever designed. wait till u see the ticket quality. still, its my first gig with my new band. no more hardcore, i promise. so please support.

I SLEPT WITH A PRINCESS
pffft.

ok sorry abt the name. it was totally spontaneous at that time when i was asked. we're probably changing it after the gig. tickets are at 6 bucks/head when purchased through me, 8 bucks at the door. come on guys, i really need your support. its kinda cheap compared to other gigs. plus you get to see me embarrass myself. okay, i know u see tt everyday, but this is different.

pm me for tickets. please support!

she siad i would not understand

2008-02-08T02:31:00.000-08:00

I bet you laughed, at the thought of me thinking for myself

for my own sake, i think its better if i give up hope to be with you.
i do hope that someday, a girl would walk in my life and i would forget all this.
But for now, i'm just gonna leave it as it is.
forget the sad thoughts, concentrate on the happy.

i will always have feelings for you. period.

gosh, look at me now, talking abt feelings. there was a time before this where i couldnt care less. Now i gotta find back that person, cause honestly, right now, i dunno what i am.

i will save myself

i really miss your hair in my face

2008-02-06T20:19:00.000-08:00

nice guys finish last i guess.
nothing new there.

inside im dying

2008-02-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

The Orang Panjang Contemporary Mat
Dictionary

Gua [goo-wah] noun – What some mats
and minahs use to call themselves.
Similar in using “lu” when referring
to others. A legacy that dates
back to the times of Mat Rocks back in
the early 80s.

A common trick that can be played on
Mats is to ask them to translate
the English phrase “Monkey Cave” into
Malay. The mat will then say
“Gua Monyet” (I'm a monkey).

Mat [mat] noun – To the rest of the
world, the word simply means a
Malay guy. But within the Malay
community itself there is a growing
disparity in consensus to its actual
meaning. Popularly, it's used to
denote a guy who converses primarily
in Malay, as opposed to the more
“English speaking” types. Favourites
of the mats include tapered
jeans, trucker caps and weepy Malay
songs with sickeningly suicidal
lyrics.

Matrep [mat-rape] noun – An extreme
version of the mat. In addition to
the usual mat accessories, a matrep
will also come adorned with tattoos
and matching body-piercings in weird
corners of his body.

Minah [mee-nah] noun – An expression
used to denote a Malay female.
Derived from the popular Malay name,
Aminah, which used to be all the
rage some time ago. It was sort of
the “in-thing” to name your
daughter Aminah back in the 60s and
70s. In fact, legend has it that if
you go to Geylang Serai market and
shout “Hai Minah!” at least a
quarter of the makcik population there
is going to turn around and smile
at you.

Picit [pee-chet] adjective – When a
mat tells you to “picit” him, it
does not mean that he is trying to be
cheeky (or gay, if he is talking
to a fellow mat). It simply means that
the mat wants you to call him on
his mobile. What were you thinking?

Relaksuah [ree-lek-soo-wah] adjective –
Official slogan and life motto
of the mats and minahs.

Sial [see- yal ] noun / adjective – A
full stop in every mat's
sentence. Eg: “Tadi aku nampak
accident sial Rabak sial Aku tak bedek
sial Kesian sial” Translation: Just
now I saw an accident (full stop)
It was bad (full stop) I'm not kidding
(full stop) Poor guy (full stop)

In its purest form, “sial”
means “jinx” but mats have refined
the
art of using the word to include it at
the end of their every sentence.
Also comes in the more polite
form “siak” and “siul” for those
who
do not want to sound too crude.

Skank [s-kank] adjective - A favourite
weird-looking dance performed by
mats and minahs. Usually done at any
of the various gigs that mats and
minahs love to congregate at. At
times, you do detect evidence of
artistry in the dance but most of the
time they just look like they've
been possessed by the ghost of a
restless retard.

Sowie [soh-wee] adjective – An
expression of apology used by minahs.
Commonly used in SMS and instant
messaging. Actually they can just use
the word “sorry” like every normal
human being but minahs think that
it will make them sound extra cute to
deliberately talk that way.
Example : “I will be late. Sowie!”

Step [se-tep] adjective – To beguile,
dissimulate or impersonate
something or someone that they are
not. Also commonly used to describe a
fellow mat or minah who acts in an
arrogant manner. E.g.“Kau jangan nak
step tak tahu eh?” Translation: Don't
you dare feign innocence in this
matter. Can also be used as a gerund
e.g. “stepping”. See next entry.

Step Jambu [se-tep jam-boo] adjective -
What minahs do when they are
sitting alone in a train and a group
of mats walk in. It is a general
exercise where the minah “controls”
her facial muscles and posture in
a way that would make her look her
best. This would usually involve
looking incessantly at her handphone
for no particular reason.

Stoppit [setop-eet] adjective – A
general expression of intolerance and
dismay. When a minah uses this phrase,
be very careful for it signals
that she is about to lose her cool or
get very violent.

empty

2008-02-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

Empty Lyrics

too much for me to handle right now.

: )

2008-01-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

before i forget, the video link on youtube as promised. LOL.

the video most probably not processed yet, so wait for it. trust me, its worth the wait.

should it be over, can it be over, must it be over, why must i decide?

2008-01-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

went to sakura to celebrate kok's belated birthday and aidie's advanced birthday. super fun i tell you. as usual, with the clan. help me get my mind of things. photo heavy entry.

went to the sakura branch in clementi. nice ah the surroundings. peaceful and quiet. except for the 'vampires' at night. HAHA

act cute again. ala, dah biase lah.

ya lah pretty lah. no need act hid face all.

sinful pleasures. fav: brownies, mango mousse.

i know, muke nak step abang2. skali skale jer.

the respective birthday boy's with their presents.

to them, birthday is a pass to be gay for a day. er, ok. biarkan je lah.

so as usual, dxdip tradition, dunking is a must.

the two, erm, birthday ice cream. guess the thing in the centre. Hot sauce lah siak! with ice cream!

and sooo........

kok got the one with the hot sauce. the reaction was HILARIOUS. he was like, half crying. ok i think saf reaction to kok's behaviour was somewhat worse.

look at the way saf is looking at kok! awwwwwwww.

group photo. took like, 1386618462 shots till we get a nice one. which turns out to be, not so nice afterall.

funnnn. hanging out with my classmates is always enjoyable. haha. next is cindy's birthday i think. refuse all u want, im sure as hell gg to get you back. hehe. tts all for now i tink. cya.

over. not over. over. not over. over. not over. over. not over. over. not over. over. not over. argh.

what it feels like to be a ghost.

2008-01-12T07:01:00.001-08:00

its all the same, just like the rest. guess im just too stupid.

i need to go to a gig and mosh.

drooping to the floor

2008-01-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

ok so i've finally ordered a phone, and hopefully it will come by friday.

sigh. we now have a chance to perform, and now new problems arises. i just wish that for once, i m in a band that is progressing.

school work still as bad as ever. i have made no progress on ideation sketches, and i have not even touch my history journal. yes i made the right decision in changing course. itstherightdecisionitstherightdecisionitstherightdecision. gotta keep telling myself that.

aprt from tt, i tink im quite happy overall. i smile alot these days. i cant wait for sch to end for the holidays.

why don't you come over here

2008-01-08T07:58:00.000-08:00

today is a happy day. sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

i tried to hear you out but i dozed off

2008-01-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

its already been the 2nd week of sch since the holidays, and im still in holiday mood. i've been unaware of my deadlines until less than 3 hrs from it, and my work is crap. i keep watching shows every night and i seem to care more about getting a new phone than school=\

there's no way that i could slack in this course. i mean, i cant blame anyone, im the one who changed course, but man. i can be really lazy at times. new yr, same old attitude. its not exaggerating to say i might be the worse student in class. sigh

i really have to change, for my own good. ok maybe after i get a new phone.

wonderful tonight

2008-01-06T06:57:00.000-08:00

YES, i know i have been a lazy bastard. its already the new yr n im still the same old lazy ass.

i promise(too strong?) i will blog more by this mth, but now i gotta go to sch for gems-.- idiot lah, understanding weather. how did i end up with the worst subject?

alot of things going on for me right now. some happy, some sad, mostly happy. yes. leg hair makes me happy. ok wtf.

more updates in the future!

take a chance on me

2007-12-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

im gonna go penang 2mr with my family to celebrate hari raya haji with my cousins. yea i know, should be fun, its just, i feel left out whenever im with them. pffft. maybe im just different.

last mon, we were supposed to go to escape theme park, but it was closed due to the rain. i wasnt too worried abt it, it means i can go on with my original plan, seesha-ing with wan, hidayat and matiin. i'll talk more and upload the pics another time, im just to lazy to go to photobucket and upload the pics.

we had our first intercons match on tues, and man, does that sucked balls. we turn with not even 11 players on our team, while sports club had enough to make 2 teams. so we played 9 a side, and we sucked. we lost like 20-3 or sth. after the second half all of us just lost interest and stopped playing. the team really needs alot of help=/

after the match i rushed home to get ready for work. i was actually looking forward to eating all the stuff im missing at pizza hut. when i reached the place i was really disappointed. the night shift people did not turn up and by 5, i was left alone to manage 4 stations. aux, soup, cut and fry. tts not the worse part. i am doing 4 jobs, and still no one like, encourage me or sth. they only notice my mistakes and never the good tt i do.

i wa supposed to go home at 9, but since there was no one, i had to work till closing. the people who were doing wash was so bloody slow, i decided to help. yes, i helped. i could have gone home, but i helped. guess wad happened.at 12, the guy who was supposed to do the washing, said he had to leave so that he won't miss the last train. WTF? i don't need to take the train???? after i finished i realise i was the only worker left(other than the manager). thanks guys. i helped, and this is what i get.

i had to rush to the mrt and took the last train barely in time. on the way home i felt really sucky and all, and thats when i decided to quit pizza hut. i mean, i keep saying i cant do closing, but i always had to. the people there are not really that friendly. the only reason y i kept the job for so long is the food. and since im trying to diet, i don't need it anymore. so im gonna quit.

and yea, i felt better when i reached home, thanks alot:)

im gonna return to singapore on sunday i tink. so dun expect any more posts till then. not tt i post frequently anywae. goodnight.

luahkan perasaan benci

2007-12-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

yes, the blogging laziness has hit me recently, i keep coming here, den realise im lazy, den log off-.- but now im here. alot of thing gg on actually.

firstly, rest in peace Sean. i've nvr had anyone i know passed away, ur the first, and i want u to know it really struck me a bit, about death. sometimes i feel guilty, we were friends in sec 1, yet when u stopped coming sch to receive treatment we fell apart, and we werent there for u. i wish things would've been different. guess its all too late now.

secondly, design festival last fri. it was kind of an eye opener. we could really see the standard of design in singapore. the messages in the displays we're clear, and they were amazing. so were some of the chicks working there, lol. awesome time spent with cliques=) theres a million pictures, so i'll probably post them another day.

fushan lost to red tomato 6-1. ok, i know we were going to lose before we played, because the some of the opponent players are my friends, and i know their standard. but i was disappointed with some of our team players. they have real punctuality issues. being late for practice is common, though still bad practice. but a match? come on. if ur giggs i wudnt mind waiting. i even tell u guys to come at 9 although the match is supposed to start at 9.30. seems like its no use. im not trying to complaint, or diss at u guys, we're still teammates after all. but i tink we should better work on our punctuality. attitude and discipline is most important in a game. i just hope u guys would improve. its not fair to those who actually came early and had to wait. btw great job red tomatos' u guys deserve ur win. hope to have a match again when we improve aite?

and lastly.....today. i went to work, boring as usual. i was kinda hardworking today. cleared all the new stuffs that arrived. but yea, 'freebies' are a must. LOL. went to Don't be Rude at powerhouse after with khai and matiin. the band was Plague of Happiness, some band from malaysia. their music is hot hot sex, baby! it was superb. i skanked alone, cause one was wearing slippers, and the other were wearing new shoes, haha. kinda boring alone though, but fun all the same.

Lengthy post. its now 0051. i shud get some sleep soon or im sooo gonna be late for gems again, urgh. ciao

suit up!

2007-12-04T02:14:00.000-08:00

I HAVE FOUND OUT...

that i need roughly 6 hours of sleep everyday.
yest, i went to sleep at 7 sth, close to 8, and i woke up at 2. and here i am, 2 am in the morning. i cant go back to sleep, and theres nobody to talk to online. since when 2am became so lame?

anywho, since i found out i need 6 hrs everyday, i can plan what time i need to sleep everyday. ROUGHLY AROUND 12. i really have to remind myself to sleep everyday at 12. i cant keep skipping 8 o'clock classes everyday and ask my classmates to sign my attendance for me every time.

the transportation for the match is now 10 bucks. like holy crap! i can take the mrt for free! im not blaming the committee, i know they did their best finding the best rental company and all, but seriously, 10 bucks is just too much. its not worth it. we still need to pay for the ref and eat. this is just a friendly match, so maybe we should just put the transportation idea on hold for a while. i dunno, this is just my opinion. if they still go ahead, i dunno if i have the money to go with them. i might just take the train and meet them there =/

side note, man utd won, thank god.

the deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutiny

2007-12-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

boring day today. was planning to go work, but when i woke up my body was aching, and all i wanted to do was sleep. regretted that decision now. for the whole day today i did nothing worthwhile. just been re-watching the shows on my laptop.

im gonna find work again, before the holidays start. i really need the money, for alot of things. basic necessities, license, sch, stuff. gonna try to fillup the form for library again, my internet always d/c halfway filling it up =/

i tink im gonna go to asy brother's wedding 2mr(or rather today). its either that or working but, i haven eaten nasi briyani for a long time. hehe. i used to eat them frequently when i was working as a waiter, but yea, tt was a long time ago.

so ye, tink im gonna go sleep now. and btw, i've edited my profile for the blog. nth much, just updated a few particulars, thats all. night.

the human body as a machine

2007-11-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

first and foremost, for those of u who cant see the last object i placed of my previous post, heres the link,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6nXtQ-Ei_8

HAHA!

i just came back from soccer. damn tiring, but managed to score a few goals. not bad today:)

during the 5 hr break today the usuals went to play pool at jp. when we came the place was like super ulu, there were no one else playing. after a while then pple came in.
i played sucky as usual, nth more than tt.

ok im like super tired now im gonna end here. blog again soon. ciao

im running away, i'm leaving this place

2007-11-29T14:12:00.000-08:00

ok i finally have time to blog because because because i finished my report! ok lah actually yest got time but was feeling a bit lazy.

something that was long overdue, saf's birthday. we went to seoul garden to celebrate her birthday. nvm, my birthday go mad jack only. HAHA

cindiee and me. she keep disturbing me all night. but she cooked for me, so she made up for it=)

aidie looking like a retard who just discovered seafood!

as usual, kok with the fuckface. haha. and presenting
.
.
.
.
.
.

THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!

she was looking at a card her friends gave her. uber huge.

we didnt get her a cake, so we made a green dessert for her!
ice kachang, ice cream, and everything green(rhymes!).
in the end forgot to put syrup, so the thing was tasteless haha.

now you see it...

now u like it...

theeeen you DUNK it! LOL

all the green stuff on her face. revenge was sweet! cause she dunked me on my birthday. i still think this is worse, all the ice and urgh. im glad mine was cake. haha.

now its all messy! and guess who was trying to clean the table? the clean freak! won't say who, i'll get killed in my sleep.

and this is something disgusting...

SEAFOOD. uuuurrrgggghhhh *vomits3timesover*

a fun day overall i guess =) and im sooo gonna get it for putting this...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAF!

vulnerable

2007-11-29T00:01:00.000-08:00

i know, i know, i haven't been blogging. be patient. i have a ton of shitload to do for sch. tink i can blog again 2mr after i hand in my assignment. until then, its crunch time.

bloodsplat

2007-11-25T20:55:00.000-08:00

its been quite a busy week, mostly to do with soccer. we had training on wed, then played under taufiq's block on thursday and the match on saturday. i have to say im disappointed with my performance on all 3 days. the trainings were ok, at least its a platform to improve, but how i played in the match was a disaster, especially in the first half.

i cant even hold the ball for more than 3 seconds without getting tackled.and all my passes were inaccurately given. 20 mins into the game and im already feeling tired. ts when i decided to substitute.

during the 2nd half i managed to assist najib's goal and cross a few good balls into the penalty area, but thats about it. other than that i just felt lost on the field.

im also disappointed with the way my team handled a situation in the case of a fight. i mean come on, its a match. if u wanna fight, go somewhere else. i know, the other team played rough and taunted us, but do u haf to stoop to their level and get angry as well? its just shows unprofessionalism. i'd rather concentrate and win the game rather than show how angry i am.

oh man i hope i improve in the future. i have a position to fight for, and if i keep playing like this i could jolly well stop all the same.

and another thing, my parents are being a total bitch. my curfew is now 9.30pm. im not even gonna explain y tt sucks because i tink the whole world would agree with me. cant wait till im out of this house.

bad day, these few days. pfffft. now i gotta prepare for my oh-so-boring job=/

annihilation by the hands of god

2007-11-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

for those of u who think YOU are busy, here's a recap on what i've been doing these past few mths:

-a million sch projects.
ouh, trust those pple who said designers lead a busy life. so much to do in so little time! starting to regret abit for chosing this course, but i still think its better than engineering.

-pizza hut and art friend.
yes, i am juggling 2 jobs. im keeping the art friend job, since the pay is high, but its too fucking boring so i took a 2nd one. but come to think of it, pizza hut sucks as well. not the work or pple, just that im always given closing shift. and i cant do tt thanks to my WONDERFUL parents.

-Bukit Batok Driving Centre.
im not gonna tell u guys what im taking or wad stage im in, but trust me when i say its taking up a hell lot of my time.

-soccer.
fushan trainings is on weds, and we have a match this sat. not forgetting playing under blocks to improve our skills. and also in sch sometimes.

-%&$#ing parents
seriously, even with all this, i think i can still cope well but my parents are always fucking restricting me for EVERYTHING. like seriously, its fucked up how bad my situation with my parents is. i mean, yea they're not getting a divorce or anything, its not that kind of problems. but sometimes i just feel so fucked up. i go home, and no one talks to me. they only time anyone does is when my parents wanna scold me for sth.
and heres the best part, they still expect me to come home early everyday.for what? so u can fucking spite at me? i lie to my parents everyday. yes everyday. when im going out, i'll just say i have a project in sch. and the fact that i need to seriously suck balls.
if u tink im exaggerating, and that my parents just love me blah blah blah, heres an example. on wed i said i wanted to play soccer at rp(i didnt, it was actually fushan, but i had to say it was a sch match or i cudnt haf gone-.-), and wanted to cycle there. and guess what, he wudnt let me. reason: dangerous. FROM MY HOUSE TO RP. 1 mrt station. Dangerous???? urrrrghhh.
and dun let me start on the bike license. ok i know its dangerous and stuff, but at least trust me enough to know i wun do anything stupid. i've never really done anything really stupid my whole life, like drinking or getting into gangfights. that's got to count for sth. but then they dun pay attention to good things ive done. only the bad, so they can shout at me more.
seriously, i have tried to see the scenario from their point of view, putting myself in their shoes. and i still dun get the way they're treating me. for example, i wudnt restrict my son to take riding license. thats could mean he would take behind my back. and since i wudnt noe abt it, it cud risk him getting into accidents because he was not properly guided,and doesnt receive blessings from his parents. instead, if thats wad my son really wants, i'll just let him have it. but i will try to guide him along his way, telling him whats right and wrong. and at least, i know what my son is doing.

arghhhh. such a lengthy post to rant. this is quite a low moment in my life, but still sulking's not gonna solve anything. i just hope things get better for me=)

theres no business to be done on a dead planet -

2007-11-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

2 posts in a day wow! trying to keep up the good work.
since im here might as well blog abt the outing with mates on sunday.
we went to.....sentosa. it was for a sch project actually. we were supposed to go to 2 places we've never gone before and record our feelings bla bla bla. we decided on a crocodile farm, a pet shop and the sentosa luge. i was actually planning to work in the morning and only join them for the luge but when i found out SOMEONE was angry i decided to turn up in the end. im so nice. and im so screwed next mth because i haven worked a single day this mth. totally screwed.

i actually like my pose(aku tau aku kerek) in the second one, but kok looks extra so the main picture is the first one ah. haha. and yes, i was wearing a singlet. go ahead and puke.

i swear this was totally a candid shot. i didnt pose or anything. and i noe im fat. ok whatever.

skyride's fun when u take with ur friends=)

this is us before we went on the luge. gosh i look like the giant among hobbits. HAHA.

ok thats it. quite a fun day. shud do it more often.

anywae, i just came back from fushan training. i played damn sucky today. and my boots torn. fuck. how am i gonna play on sat? its kind of a big match for me, since i know the people from both teams. and i really hope i play well. maybe score again. lol.ok peace out.

the wounds won't seem to heal-

2007-11-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

MY BLOG IS ALIVE!

I think i've decided to keep it somewhat alive, so i can blog once in a while. Dun expect daily posts, im just too busy and frankly, i couldn't care less.

and yea im basically busy with sch work. New project: Communication Device. i really gotta ace in this, already been given a warning for the last project. sch's just so boring this few days, but oh well, i still think its better than engineering. i just have to be less work harder and stop slacking.

as some of u might already know, my dad found out abt me taking motorcycle lessons and asked me to stop straightaway. like fuck. i dun even noe whether i shud just carry on with it. if my dad catch me another time, im really screwed. i'll just see how it goes.

and something that really pisses me off recently, i got a C+ for my history paper, because it was late. It was supposed to be an A, but due to my stupidity and punctuality issues, its a C. thats fucked up man. worse that i found out what i cud haf gotten. im not angry at my lecturer, im just angry at myself for not putting more effort into sch. i gotta start bucking up or im dead.

thats all for now i guess. fushan later, gonna practice for the match against team SYW this sat. i really wanna do well in soccer, its all i've got left. ciao suckers.

and oh, i just resurrected my blog recently, so my profile and all are not yet updated. gonna do it soon=)

black label

2007-03-09T02:26:00.000-08:00

these few days have been really crappy. HSA sent the letter to my house, only to find tt theres no one home at tt moment. so i had to go to the post office to collect the letter. the fine was 30 bucks. zzz. i was hoping for a warning. so then i got to HSA building to pay the fine, and felt relieved this whole thing is would finally be over and done with.

not quite.

a few days after paying the fine i got a letter from singapore poly stating tt they receive a letter from the HSA regarding my smoking incident. AND I FUCKING HAVE TO GO FOR COUNSELLING. this is the most utterly horrible crap i have ever heard in my life. if i were still in secondary sch, i would have understood. but im in fucking poly now, and im gonna be 18 this year. why why why do you keep wasting you're time on me? there are kids out there who could haf really used this attention, but its not me. first of all im not addicted to smoking(screw your only-saying-that-to-deny-tt-ur-actually-addicted theory. im not, and thats that.). and i cant stress this enough. im gonna be 18 THIS year. 7 more mths ONLY to be exact. -.-

and i got my results back. failed 2 modules only surprisingly. i expected more. nevertheless, it still sucks. now i have an extra 2 modules to complete. im in a dilemma on whether to suck it up and stick with the course or switch to diploma in experience design - innovation and product(DXIP). it concerns my future and sadly, mine doesnt seem bright. fuckit.

2mr is jam session and i didnt learn a single new song. i keep wanting to but im really very moody these days, which makes me just wanna sit and stare into space. and its not helping tt im in a band where i cant play the songs that i like.

on top of all these, my dad is ignoring me since last week. its probably because of me being caught smoking. i guess its much better in many ways, but it really sucks, not having a dad tt u can talk to. my dad is good when it comes to responsibility and stuff, but when it comes to socialising he suck big time. to him, even love is a responsibility, not out of free will. i cant even talk to him about anything. my mom loves me, but when u get screamed at by her everyday for 18 years u dun really wanna be that close to her. not to mention my falling out with my 2 brothers. basically i got no one to talk to when im home.

i dunno how much more of this i can take. theres only so much that i can handle. i cant deny its mostly my fault, but somehow i hope things would be different. friends are all i haf, and yet there are none which i can really pore my soul to. i just hope wad im feeling rite now will pass in time to come. hopefully things will be brighter in the future=)

ok i really gotta pee now. sayonara!

ps: ye lah. kalau ader pape kau the FIRST person aku bilang.

forever your eyes will hold the memory

2007-03-02T02:04:00.000-08:00

things have been really mundane nowadays. been wrking everyday, and im starting to get bored. i feel like quiting, but im sure as hell nvr gonna get the same type of job again. the pays good, work quite slack, great pple, but damn would'nt it be great to get paid for watching tv? -.-

i gotta go to sleep. hafta wake up early 2mr to deliver some stuff for my mom -.- -.- and then after that back to work-.- -.- -.-

i really cant wait for sch. not to learning process, just the journey to campus, the time in campus and the people there. but until then i just haf to wrk without driving myself to the state of boringness.

bye!

aren't you tired of being weak, such rage that you could scream

2007-02-28T22:40:00.000-08:00

i gotta stop blogging abt sth a million years after it happens. its such a pain trying to remember wad happen. zzz. rite, now abt music attack 3.

yea we went to tt gig on the 24th of march to support Press not Coax and The Smudge. Both were super cool. most of the people in front are our friends, so u can imagine the fun we had controlling the moshpit. we even moshed to amber pacific songs by Press not Coax! haha. and The Smudge. holy cow. they're like one of the better bands i noe. their original songs are just superb. and their Oasis covers are simply breathtaking.

here's how many people who turned up at the gig and were our friends.

like fucking huge lah.
the whole gang(in the 2nd picture) went to hang out at esplanade. this is the part which i hate. i mean, its cool, hanging out with tt many people. but as usually they will usually create a hell lot of havoc. i hate people who create havoc, and i can't believe im hanging out with a group of them who does. most of the time precious lies just hang out on our own(abang2 ah konon:x).

good news and bad news.
good news - i've finally cut my hair! wohooooo!
bad news - HSA sent a letter to my dad telling him abt my smoking incident. this is like fucking bad news. my parents are throwing tantrums all over the place. i may not even get to go to school next year. sheez. dunno how im gonna let this one die down. its like the 4th or 5th time im caught smoking.

ps: to the HSA inspector, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. do u noe how much trouble you've caused me? goddamnit im gonna be 18 this year. JUST CUT SOME FUCKING SLACK. INSTEAD OF WASTING UR TIME FINING ME, YOU COULD HAVE CAUGHT SOME 14 OR 15 YEAR OLD
SMOKING. or donate to the poor, or do community service, or recycling paper, or working, or volunteering, or getting free of the leash the government put on u, or cleaning ur mama's tits, or pulling tt stick out of ur ass, all of which would BENEFIT somebody. fining me wun change a SINGLE thing. i'll still smoke, in public if i must, cos im gonna be 18 this year. yes u are the government's dog, doing their dirty work, being hated while they get all the credit. the worst part is ur ONLY 20 STH. wtf are you doing this job? i sure ur the loser among ur friends(or so-called friends). you disgust me so much i could puke. get a life bitch.

im not breaking down, im breaking out

2007-02-24T03:33:00.000-08:00

i went to renew my passport today, and i swear on the way back i was as sure as hell gonna cut my hair bald. not bald bald, more like semi bald. and unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) the barber was closed. i went to the other one and its closed too. maybe its a sign? hah.

yea i noe, y cut bald? heres the reason. y do guys style their hair and try to look good? only one reason. to attract girls(ya duh. any guy who disagrees, aint straight.). and im thinking, if tt is so, y da hell am i so cautious bout my hair? im certainly not trying to impress any girl. hell, girls dun even look at me even if i styled my hair for 2 hrs. so y waste tt precious 1 hr of ur day washing ur hair and styling it. ok maybe it doesnt apply to other pple, but it sure as hell is applicable to me. im like, doomed whem it comes to girls. just look at my previous post. u'll get the picture.

so to celebrate my new giving-up-trying-to-impress-girls attitude, im gonna cut bald. straightening my fringe was like one of my biggest regret. 35 bucks wasted. fuck. yeap. i cant believe im actually excited to go bald. haha.

played soccer with the usuals today. nth much happen. as usual i scored alot of goals, and after each goal, without failure, someone will shout 'tts lucky'. gotten used to it now. i tink im finally training myself to be immuned to what other pple think. GREAT SUCCESS. here's a phrase which really helped me alot -

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.

yes, only god. no one else. tink about it.

ps: sihong, hey sorry, i didnt see ur comment. it was at somerset. yea but at least its cooler than being caught for underage. makes me feel, underage-.- my friend got caught for smoking in non-smoking area. they're really stepping up their case nowadays. better be careful.

i noe its not right but its not fair

2007-02-18T09:13:00.001-08:00

haven't blogged in like, forever, so this is gonna be long one. lets start off with music attack 2. This is actually the second time im writing about it, the first time i did the com just blew on me. like totally blacked out. fucking frustrated. u would be too, it you had typed enough for a general paper and suddenly its all gone. pfffft.

so on tt day i met up with wan ard 3 at amk mrt b4 heading to gashaus with precious lies to pass our ticket sales. after tt i hanged out with wan while precious lies stayed at gashaus. met nabil, noh and ezol at long john before finally going to gas haus at ard 6. fucking hell im nvr gonna call those bastards i call my friends to my gig again. such a fucking waste of time. you noe who u fucking are.

was shocked the moment i stepped into gashaus. the crowd was like HUGE. passive instinct was already on when we get there. they were ok, but i dun think the people there really like muse. what a shame. i LOVE muse.

so after passive instinct was 2 xcore bands. fuck the 2nd wasnt eve tt good, they just had like an extremely large fan club. assholes. after them were our band.

before i got on stage i was really nervous. not to the edge of breaking down, but still nervous. what if i screwed up? i was shaking while walking to the stage. i was even sweating when i was plugging in my bass. but then we started to play our first song, the last sunrise. and it was all gone. the nervousness, the shakiness, the pee-in-ur-pants feeling, all gone. i felt right at home, like this is where i belong. it was simply ecstatic. pure adrenaline rushing through ur body. nothing beats performing while ur crowd is moshing and headbanging.

haha yea, lots of headbanging. cos there's alot of girls in front while we're performing:x so theres not much moshing. yeap 'she' even gave me a \m/ after our first song. wooots.
aaaaaand the soundman at gashaus was being a complete bitch. he kept asking us to lower our guitar volume. hello, this is a gig, not a jamming session? here's a phrase i heard before somewhere, and i tink it was aimed at pple like you.

if its too loud, you're TOO OLD.

heh. buuuut i really need to thank all the people tt came to the gig, you guys made it happen man. heres what some people commented abt us on soft.com.sg -

sammy

wooo! musick attack 2 rocks! love the crowd! theres this band called precious lies, love thier energy! we the crowd HEADBANG like crazy! haha, very nice. their band's unique. others was as good too. we mosh til we drop yeah? haha. looking for to musick 3.

i dunno who u are, but thank you so fucking much.

roy

Hi NXA, u guys really ROCK the place! PANTERA & RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! - AWESOME MAN! Wish u guys could play a longer set. And great set from Precious lies too! In fact all the bands are really damn good! Salute to u guys! Anyway the crowd was really awesome! Another 300 plus crowd cramped into Gas Haus! Feels like SAUNA! Look forward MUSIC ATTACK 3!

aaah. of cos, roy from extreme music. thanks for letting us perform.

overall i tink i still can improve summore on my bass skills and stage presence. well theres always a 2nd time. think we're gonna perform for music attack 5. i'll let u guys noe the details if we're in aite?

k for sth more up-to-date, theres really nth much going on. i've just been working every chance that i get. damn i really need money! y cant i be born rich instead of...... wait im not gd-looking nor do i have a talent for anything else. zzzzzzz. so y cant i be born rich?

oh yea i got fucking fined yesterday. pffft. i hanged out with zt at his workplace at cathay, and after that he wanna sit down smoke first. i tought y not, its his cigarette anywae. then when we were smoking, i saw this guy looking at me from far. i knew it was a health inspector, but i kept my cool, thinking i could use my 'fake' id. i know they were trying to aim zt, cos he looks fucking young. they were kinda disappointed when they found out he's 18, but wtf im 17. i gave my 'fake' id, but he demanded to see my ex-link. i was like fffuuuucccccckkk. wanted to run for it but i cudnt communicate with zt, he was talking to the other guy.

fuck man. so they took down my particulars, and said they're gonna mail me a warning or even a fine. the guy threatened to charge me for impersonation because of my fake id. fuck u!if its the cops ok lah, but health inspectors? get a life dammit. after tt i got no mood for shopping ready. lol.

i dun really mind if its a fine, im more afraid for the letter. if my dad gets a hold of it im screwed. for real this time.i've been caught and warned too many time, and as much as i tink this rule is fucking stupid, its still my fault. soooo, now i gotta check the mail daily, before going out and before reaching home. pfffft.

i swear the moment i turned 18, i will smoke in public ALL the time and when health inspectors scan me, i swear i'll LAUGH at them for good.

wow ok fucking long entry, tink i better stop now. cya.

waking the cadaver

2007-02-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

this is it.

its ard 5hrs to our performance. getting a BIT nervous, but not really edgy.

fucking ticket screwed really caused me stress. hopefully after today it will all be over.

WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!

remove from me this deception that i call lovee

2007-02-09T00:35:00.000-08:00

FUCK.

so many fucking people bastard me at this stage. i fucking hate it when pple dun stick to their words. like wtf? if u say ur gg, den just go. if ur not, just FUCKING TELL ME. whats this shit of not replying my messages and not picking up my calls. WTF? if u had just tell me ur not gg that would be much better. i cant say im pleased, but i cant force u to do anything, right? just fucking confirm with me whether ur going or not. IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD? sheez im even willing to pay for first if u say ur paying on tt saturday itself.

these are some of the people who are supposed to be my friends. fucking fed up. now i noe how the band feels like the first time they're performing. so many fucked up people, how to handle?

really choked up on stress right now. Its my exam period dammit(ok who am i kidding exams or not im still the same slacker-.-). I still need to practice for this saturday, i haf to tolerate my fucked up dad, and STILL haf to manage the ticket selling with the people i call my friends.

it times like these, some1 u can embrace in ur arms and look in her eyes while u throw ur heart out would be nice.

this ain't a scene, its a goddamned arms race

2007-02-07T22:21:00.000-08:00

jamming today. ALMOST perfect, but my last serenade still need a bit of tweaking here and there.

hmm suddenly got so many pple wanna go this sat. haha. everytime last minute, who's surprised? but STILL, so many people are only paying for the tix on tt day, and seeing that i have to give the money by fri, means i haf to pay first. so if u pple last minute bastard me i swear i will )&*)(*&^&*(^&*()& you, and den i'll $%^&*&^%$#$%^& you again.

i was thinking about blogging on my c_prog paper today, but wads the point? i can already predict the outcome(fail of cos, duh), and talking about it just makes me wanna puke all over my shoes( ok i'm at home and not wearing shoe's, metaphor aite?). but i made an improvement today. i wasnt the first to leave the exam hall, i was 2ND! yeahhhh. GREAT SUCCESS.

fuck 2mr no exam which means i haf to stay home all day which means i haf to do house chores nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

kill to live

2007-02-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

haven blogged in like 4387643548490843 years. i've decided to start again cos im just sooooo fucking bored.
now is my exam week, but wth, i dun noe a single thing, how to study. its like the last thing on my mind now. everybody's studying and im concentrating for 10th feb. lolol.
yeap 10th feb. this sat. music attack 2 @ gashaus. i'll be lying if i say im not excited. it is my first gig after all. wooots!
final jamming practice 2mr before the big day. FINALLY ive learnt all the 7 songs haha. took me long enough. for people who wants to noe what song we're playing, here's the list in the order we're playing:-
the last sunrise - aiden
a perfect smile with broken wings - odd project
i set my friends on fire - aiden
freak gasoline fight accident - it dies today
my last serenade - killswitch engage
through struggle - as i lay dying
spit - kittie
cant wait to mosh and headbang! haven been to a single gig this year, the last time i went was the ful flight. hurhur. people who wanna go last minute, pls pls contact me for tickets.
i noe its a bit late to talk about, but SINGAPORE WON. wohhhoooooooooooo. king of asean! fuck the thais! fuck their dramatic actings! lol. but seriously, they really played like crap against thai. they needed a whole lot of luck but still, WE WON. hell yeaaaaa!
man utd's also having their top form ever. back to back 4-0 wins! and chelsea? wad? 1-0 only against charlton, the 2nd last club in the league? wake up chelsea fans and support the REAL champions, MANCHESTER UNITED!
hahahahaha feeling very high sia. i tink thats all for now, gotta practice again for sat zzzzz. but u have to make sacrifices to get things perfect.
to people who are coming to support us, i want to say an advanced "THANK YOU". thanks for helping our ticket sales.
alright tts about all cyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasuckaaaaaaaaaaa.

ps: she talked to me FIRST today. haha. usually i have to started the conversation first. GREAT SUCCESS.

shes so perfectt. im so screwdd.

2006-11-27T02:35:00.000-08:00

FUCK CASHLEY COLE. no. y not fuck the whole chelsea team. fuckfuckfuck.
idiotic rich bastards who play super boring football, and use time-wasting tactics.
u are like 3 points behind us, y the fuck are u going for a draw?

kk. feel a lot better. rite. went gas haus today for punk rock fest 2006. parents don't have a clue, they think im just gg to wrk, haha. so meet khai at yck ard 10.30 (supposedly 10 but as u all noe nobody i go out with is early). told me la gf cudnt make it. hah. so ate, slack and waited for wan. he came ard 3, and we went in. AND la gf suddenly called and say she can make it. and turned khai into a happy bastard. lol. and some1 i was hoping is coming told me she aint coming. zzz. i was really hoping!

so anywae we went in, and sat down during the first band. super lame, it was a chinese band playing first date, basket case and wad haf you. so when the nxt band came we went forward to mosh. wan was like standing at the side. cant blame him, first time lah. haha. and tis is the most funniest part. while moshing I GOT KICK IN THE BALLS. freaking painful i tell u. i was like, ok is any1 watching me, and slowly move to the side so tt it can "heal". LOLOLOL. after tt went back in to the hole. dammit, one of the metal things which holds the shoelaces holes (IT RHYMES!) of my sneakers came off. yes, MY BRAND NEW ORIGINAL LEVI's SNEAKER. damn suay. and my specs broke. forgot to take them off, hurhur. i tell u the girls there can really mosh! omg! wad a turn on! okok enuf.

so wan went back at 6, and nuruls band left ard 6.30. they were fucking good, seriously. an all girl band. yea. so khai, la gf and me had to take turns to guard the bags and belongings. and super suay when it was my turn to watch the bags, smashed into pieces by silverstein was on. dfvbsekihbeksfjb. and khai was happily moshing. dfbsrgbsrgndgh.

we went back ard 7.30 and khai send his gf home ( confirm motek dulu, hahaha, fucking lovers) while i went back. alone. from city hall to admiralty. right after a gig. boboboriringngngngng. yea tts abt all. maybe gg to the metalcore gig nxt sun if i got the dough. just withdrawed 30 bucks today, all gone. hais. gotta start saving for tt fender. haha. kk. tts all folks.

damn she was like the perfect girl. super beautiful, super hot, super killer voice, the bloody whole package. a rocker chic of my dreams. yet shes older than me by a year and happily attached to a punk. cant blame her. y da hell wud she want a low-life like me? but hell, shes like the perfect girl.

follow the reaper

2006-11-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

haven's blogged in 235789243659832 days. don't blame me. blame the fucked up internet connection. brand new! 140 bucks modem! same old crap!

been sick this few days, as usually parents don't give a damn. skipped a lot of class, but luckily i managed to get mc. there's a maths test yesterday to makes things worse. it doesnt matter if i come or not, seriously. i dunno a SINGLE THING. and i just realised tt my theory on how smoking can make u feel better when ur sick is a whole bunch of CRAP. haha. took me tt long to realise.

i MAY be going to gas haus 2mr for the gig, but u cant be too sure with my friends. nvr could keep a promise. not naming names, you know who u are. just hope we're still going cos i actually skipped work for this, which means 56 bucks from my paycheck. FIFTY SIX. i could buy 5 cigarettes with tt.

(super random) y am i suddenly using caps lock all of a sudden?

crazy about krzr

2006-11-13T02:37:00.000-08:00

damn.

sch starts in 6 hrs time, and i didnt even do a single e-learning exercise. i swear to god, i dunno a single definition or equation of all the modules this semester, and tts real bad. i've been considering abt changing to interior design, which i really like, but is it worthwhile? its a 50-50 chance to get in, but if i do get it, i may not like the course. interior design market very competitive nowadays. mechanical engineers have a real bright future, but damn its so boring i cant stand more than 2 mins in a lecture. especially maths. I FUCKING HATE ENGINEERING MATHS. i swear if the future of an engineer is to do maths ur whole life ill commit suicide right now.
man im so fucking stress right now. i hate sch. i hate life. i hate me. y cant things just work out for the best?

sigh. right. these few days are kinda dull. been wrking (e-learning my ass) so tt i can save enuf for my 4gb memory pro stick duo for my psp. ive checked the price. 220 bucks only!!! only at funan, the mother fucking price goughing people are all selling it at 299 bucks. i cudnt buy with last mth's pay cos its only 378. after buying a bluetooth headset for my dad and giving some to my mom it aint enuf. YES, i bought a bluetooth headset for my dad, for his bday. no matter how much i loathe and hate the way u treat me, how u like me least, how u always pick on me and how much u hate me and wish u had a better son (i think), ur still my dad, and ill still love you. though sometimes i feel like !@#$%^&%^$&% you. yea. so tt headset would make up for the ur past 3 yrs bday. though u've nvr given me a bday present for a long time.

hey miss murder, can i mke beauty stay if i take my life?

tts all, peace out.

haha you're dead

2006-11-10T22:51:00.000-08:00

now i rmbed how come i nvr regularly. IM JUST SO FUCKING LAZY. not to mention the internet connection at my house sucked to the core. hurhur, new router, same old fucking connection.
this week is e-learning week, and basically im just wrking when im free to earn tt extra buck. haha. been wrking since wed, till sun. how to e-learn???
as u pple might ave noticed, i have change back to my first ever skin. its so fucking cool i dunno why da hell did i change in the first place. tink im gonna stick with this template for quite a while.
tts all for now, i will TRY to blog more in the future. man wad a flop after that first suuuuuper long entry. hah. cya

i realised tt u were tt nice to every1, not just me. girls like you haf a million suitors. sorry i ever set my hopes up tt high.

boredom can kill

2006-11-04T09:08:00.000-08:00

decided not to change the blog skin cos im just too fucking lazy. lol. getting ready for work now, super bored. and i just realised im gonna be late. -.-
cya.

back!

2006-11-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

ok pple!

i tink im gonna start blogging again cos im just so fucking bored everyday with nth to do while staring at the com all nite long. ok im gonna blog bout things that happen tis week cos hell, its probably the most happening one tis yr.

Monday
k. i followed asyaari to queenstown cos he wanted to do a bit of shopping. and man, does he spent. first we went to eat at fc 4 (if i rmb correctly) cos asy wanted to see his dream girl again. yea so went queensway, didnt rain again, asy spend like mad, went back sch bla bla bla im lazy to rmb wad happen nxt.

Tuesday
dun tink anything special happen on this day. oh yea smoked alot of next on tis day, urgh.

Wednesday
tis is like, the most happening day of the week, probably of the year. k we were planning to play futsal ah, been planning since the week before. just as we(me, taufiq, ados) finished gems, it started to rain heavily, so we cudnt make our way to the stadium to meet the rest. and we cudnt go home too cos they cudnt get to dover due to the rain. so after the rain subsided, we made our way to the stadium, got ready, and played in the rain. so we were winning 3-nil(hahaha take tt), when khalis equalised. zahid was walking to get the ball while talking to ali and he hit the goalpost, and i LAUGHED. den when he was falling behind he sort of grabbed the goalpost and dragged it down. ali cudnt get there in time. so at first i tought it was nth, until i saw his WHOLE fingernail somewhere else. tts when zahid started to scream. i felt guilty to the max for laughing, so decided to act quickly. so i grabbed taufiqs shirt and stopped the bleeding. he was like screaming loudly, damn scary. cant imagine the pain. the worst part was whe n i had to apply the antiseptic. he scream even louder, if tt was possible. so then ali called the ambulance, great thinking. tt was my mistake, shud haf called the ambulance sooner. so yea, the rest ados, taufiq, khalis, ali and asy were great, calming him down. so the ambulance took him away. man those screams could nvr leave my head. and zahid, the great guy he always is, still apologised for causing so much trouble. haha. cool guy.
this incident was one of the main reason i started blogging again, u nvr noe when u can relate to it again.

Thursday
skipped chink class for soccer. HAHA.

Today
skipped prayer. man i gotta stop doing this. its so wrong. i dun wan to be those malays who completely haf no faith. we wanted to play soccer, but it rained as soon as it was our turn. maybe god was angry at us. sheez. so went back home, slept a while and went out again for soccer. it was kinda great, though VERY embarrassing, losing to small kids. but we were mainly playing ard lah. scored a few, though now i noe wad my main weakness is. SHOOTING. man i suck to the max when it comes to shooting. gotta improved a hell lot.

holy crap longest post in my life. kk tink i better go now, gotta fnd a new skin for this newly upgrade blog.

peace.

Fix You

2006-06-06T01:15:00.000-07:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
~~When you get what you want~~, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just watch and learn

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Theres nth anybody could possibly do to make my life any worse.

fight for all the wrong reasons

2006-06-03T05:29:00.000-07:00

10-a-side Friendly
SP 8 - 2 PJC

15-a-side Friendly
SP 2 - 0 PJC

yea i noe we won, but i haf every reason to be disappointed with my performance. even the coach keep correcting my mistakes. still a lot of things to learn.

finally the holidays are here. tink im gonna have to find a job. damn !@#*&^& only give me 4 bucks a day. i mean its like, poly, not sec sch. the food price is the same as outside. 4 bucks? hell its not enough. tink ill go through strait times to find a part time job.

oh and England won Jamaica 6-0.

cya.

yes ah

2006-05-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

yea i finally have a cca. RUGBY. it funny how the first idea tt came to my mind is always the one tt really happens. the first cca tt came to my mind during orientation week was rugby, and here i am. even for other things. x800 was my original idea for a new phone, and among other phones i got the x800. so yea nxt time i gotta make sure my first idea is fucking gd.

just watched singapore idol. man so far the contestants are not tt gd. but yea paul twohill and jonathan are my favorites. hope they got to final 12. and man i cant wait for the girls episode cos the girls are fuck hot hahaha.

on a sadder note, i failed mechanics. i mean like, damn, ive nvr been a fan of physics and here i am stucked with it. guess i just gotta grit my teeth and study. and im initially happy getting 65 marks for electronics practical, but hell when i realised the other 35 marks were due to careless i feel like ripping my hands off. if only i had rmbed to connect the 5 volts. urgh-ness. really have to do better next time, or im gonna get kicked out.

k tis is seriously very long so im gonna go now.

2006-05-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

this few weeks i haf been in sch is not as great as i expected. it much less fun. not to mention theres NO GIRLS in my course, and no close friends, and NO GIRLS, while all my other classmates have their own friends. i mean yea we hang out together all the time in sch, but we dont like go out together. everyday is just sch, home, sch home for me. maybe things will get better once i joined some club or cca.

hais.

2006-05-14T02:32:00.000-07:00

i finally did it. i told her. yeah well, kinda expected the reaction anywaes. yeah im glad i did it. now i can move on without the slightest regret tt we could have a history. i guess tis is it. it ends right here.

but, hell right now i feel like crap. no mood for anything. hope ill be fine in a couple of days. i mean, man, its really true. every girl tt ive wanted will nvr like me back. tis sucks. it means i haf to wait for girls to make the first move. and i dun tink it'll happen, cos im not good-looking.

oh yeah, i finally finished my template. not bad.

hais. i really tought we were perfect together.

i just wanna break u down so badly

2006-05-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ki've decided to change my blog cos my bro coincidentally, used to same url as me. not exactly the same, just tt its also stockholm syndrome. anywae, tis post was just to preview my template. shall start blogging sometime next week maybe. tts all for now.